I came home from a ten-hour shift yesterday only to find this monstrosity taped to the refrigerator. My oldest, who is currently going through a heavy 'corporate efficiency' phase because of a school project, decided we needed a standardized workflow for emptying the dishwasher. I have spent thirty minutes trying to trace the arrows. According to this, if the salad bowl is slightly damp, we are supposed to restart the entire cycle or initiate a 'quarantine protocol' in the guest bathroom. I just wanted a clean coffee mug, but now I am apparently trapped in an infinite loop between 'inspect gasket' and 'confront sibling'. It reminds me of the time my own father tried to diagram the plumbing in our 1920s fixer-upper using only colored chalk and sheer willpower. We ended up without water for three days because nobody could decipher what the dotted lines meant.