I spent the better part of my Tuesday trying to explain to a compliance officer why we can't just 'patch' a library that hasn't seen a commit since the Obama administration. It’s fascinating how these audits work; they see a CVE from 2014 and treat it like a localized nuclear event, but they’re perfectly fine with the fact that our entire build pipeline relies on a shell script written by a guy who retired to become a goat farmer in 2018. We’re out here trying to secure the perimeter while the foundation is basically load-bearing spaghetti held together by hopes and dreams. Every time I look at our dependency tree, I feel like I’m performing an archeological dig, except instead of finding cool pottery, I just find more reasons why we’re one NPM typo away from total collapse. It’s a miracle anything works at all, honestly. I’m convinced the only reason half these systems stay upright is because the hackers are just as confused by the legacy code as we are.